He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
