whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
