Duck Duck Cougar?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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