we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
