shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
