why didn't you poke me back
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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