Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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