Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
