I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
