the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
