nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
