We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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