I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
