Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think i have herpe
just one?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This baby is an asshole
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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