hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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