you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude. I can hear the air.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
