I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
