You're completely useless in the revolution.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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