I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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