Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
