My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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