I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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