at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
