I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
