I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
