So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
