brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
