Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
