ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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