i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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