My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
