I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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