bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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