tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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