Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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