I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize