put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
