I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
