Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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