Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
