Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Be still, my beating vagina.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I didn't notice because vodka
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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