She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
