shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
