I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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