Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Drunk is a universal language darling
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
