Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
