i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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