Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
