is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
