Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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