I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
