WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize