Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
