I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize